How to Identify a Human Predator in Your Life

Your colleague at work might be someone that you really get along with or someone who pretends to get along with you for their own benefit.

How do you know the difference?

Entitlement is the order of the day

Have you ever come across someone who behaves as if the world owes them something?

This kind of person must have what they want at whatever cost.

If they do not, they will throw a tantrum and make everyone pay for it.

Human predators are often entitled people.

This is the reason why they often have no problem getting what they want at whatever cost even if it means hurting others.

After all, the world is in their debt, and this debt must be repaid even if it means stepping on a few or many toes along the way.

At the workplace, entitlement is played out in the form of a colleague who believes they deserve a promotion by virtue of any reason that they come up with.

This kind of employee will go to great lengths to ensure that the boss gives them the promotion that they believe they have earned even if they barely pull their weight at the office.

They will try to make everyone else look bad and undeserving of the promotion.

If they do not get their way and the promotion goes to someone else, they will consider that person their lifelong enemy.

After all, how could that person take away their promotion?

It will never occur to this entitled employee that they probably need to work harder to rise up the ranks.

They love being in control

Most people love having some control over certain aspects of their lives.

It is normal to want to be able to call the shots, within reasonable bounds.

The problem begins when a particular person feels that they need to call the shots in their lives and other people’s lives.

Most manipulators are control freaks.

Some of them have subtle ways of expressing this control, while others could not be bothered to make it less obvious.

If you have a control freak in your life, you probably already know it.

Control freaks are often hard to miss thanks to their ability to involve themselves in just about anything and everything.

At the workplace, control freaks have a very hard time delegating to others, even when it is necessary.

They want to run each and every show because they know the reward is theirs to reap.

Another sign of a control freak is the inability to admit when they are wrong.

Humans are prone to error, and it requires a certain level of grace to accept that you are in the wrong.

This is a kind of grace that most control freaks lack.

A reason why people who love to be in control find it hard to admit error is that they view it as an admission to being weak, which contradicts their idealized self-image that they are better than everybody else.

If you ever find yourself engaged in an argument with a control freak do not expect to win.

In any battle involving a control freak, they always win.

If they do not win, the winner becomes the newest enemy that must be defeated come what may.

Control freaks also like to nitpick everybody and anybody, judging them according to the superior standards they have set for themselves.

A control freak will have an opinion about anything under the sun, even when this opinion is uncalled for or even unsolicited.

Their critique is harsh and often leaves others feeling worse.

This is a way of gaining control for them.

If you make someone feels inadequate and small, you have a better chance of getting them to comply with your demands, whatever these may be.

Control freaks often have personality disorders that cause them to behave as they do.

A personality disorder is defined as a pattern of behaviour that deviates from what is considered normal behaviour.

For this sort of behaviour to be classified as a personality disorder (and not just a teenager having a bad day); it has to show up consistently, to the extent where it becomes deep-set in the individual’s life and daily choices.

Everyone has their bad days from time to time when they make questionable decisions

An individual with a personality disorder has a bad day every day.

Often, personality disorders are diagnosed by adolescence.

In some people, it might take longer for a diagnosis to be arrived at.

Three personality disorders are likely to result in a person becoming obsessed with having control over others.

These include;

antisocial personality disorder,
histrionic personality disorder,
and narcissistic personality disorder.

Individuals with antisocial personality disorders often have an exaggerated sense of self-worth and very little empathy, if at all, for others.

As such, they are often predisposed to controlling others without feeling any sort of mercy or sympathy.

Sufferers of histrionic personality disorder, on the other hand, love attention.

They will go to any lengths to gain attention from others.

They must be in full control of the show even if it means lying about everything in their life to get this kind of attention.

Getting attention is the means to and the outcome of the control they have over others.

In short, attention is a song they can dance to forever.

Narcissists love control because they believe they are better than anyone else and that they are entitled to this control.

There is simply no getting your way with a narcissist.

If you are involved with a narcissist, be it at work or in a personal relationship, the only answer you will ever be allowed to utter is yes.

Narcissists thrive on control because it feeds their unending desire to be the biggest deal in every room that they are in.

Their emotions are not authentic

Have you ever come across someone who seemed very kind and generous, but your instincts told you not to trust them?

It’s probably because your sixth sense could detect that all that kindness and generosity was not authentic.

While it is possible for the heart and mind to be fooled, the sixth sense is almost always able to pick out the lies from the truth.

Human predators know that there are certain emotions and behaviours that are beneficial in relationships.

They know that kinder people are well-liked, and generosity is taken to mean that a person is good at heart.

Predators will not care much for kindness but will go to great lengths to paint the required picture of perfection.

They will show up to community gatherings with home-baked cookies.

At charity events, they will have the biggest check.

They will always have the brightest, and warmest smiles.

On the surface, they will be the picture of neighbourly friendliness and hospitality.

That is why they always catch people unaware when they decide to unveil their other side the one that is not as kind and not as generous.

When dealing with someone who goes to great lengths to prove that they are a really nice person, take with you a pinch of salt.

Pay attention to what your gut says about this person.

Your ears and eyes may deceive you, but that inner voice of reason will always have your back.

They are unbelievably charming

The most efficient predators are also extremely charming.

They know how to do and say the right things so that they come across as appealing toothers.

They come off as highly likable based on their ability to get in anybody’s good books by virtue of a few well-placed compliments and smiles.

When you meet such a charmer, they will make you believe that you are the center of their universe.

They will pay you attention, make you feel special and pull all the stops to impress.

For many charmers, this is a learned art form.

When two normal people with no hidden agendas meet, the interaction that occurs is natural, sometimes awkward and often superficial.

That is, there is likely to be a whole lot of small talk to fill the silences instead of deep heartfelt conversations.

The latter conversations happen after you have gotten to know each other a little better.

Be cautious of anyone who tries to charmingly divulge any unnecessary information that paints them as this perfect human who is incapable of making a wrong move.
Be careful of anyone who always has the perfect answer to all questions.
Lastly, be wary of anyone who seems to float effortlessly through social interactions.
This kind of person may be a well-meaning social butterfly, but there is also a chance that they are putting on a show that you will pay greatly for.